


Lost in Translation

by ghostmateria



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Clack, Country boy mistakes, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, Inappropriate connotations, M/M, Misunderstandings, Shinra life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 03:37:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14416854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostmateria/pseuds/ghostmateria
Summary: All things considered, Cloud thought he ought to be given some credit for being a reasonably fast learner. He might not be worldly, but the Shinra trooper was a far cry from the country lad who had arrived a few years earlier to Midgar, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.Unfortunately for Cloud, the biggest hurdle had been, and still was, language. Despite everyone apparently speaking the same language, they certainly didn’t use words the same way. Typically he managed to avoid making a complete fool of himself by staying quiet and waiting for a mostly-private moment to use the communal terminal at HQ to look up the meaning a word might hold. A fool-proof plan, except for when the word as Cloud understood it was used in a way that made perfect sense.





	1. The things you hear

**Author's Note:**

> This drivel was written originally on Tumblr, the result of a fun discussion in the Clack discord channel. Topic of discussion was that the word "Shag" had more than one meaning, such as it being a party to celebrate a wedding and not... well... y'know. Intended to be something short but here it is. 
> 
> Cloud in this is still Infantry ~16years old, not SOLDIER. Zack is 18. 
> 
> Rating M for nsfw connotations and mild escalation in the final chapter. Shout out to my dear friend Pyra who beta read this foolishness.

All things considered, Cloud thought he ought to be given some credit for being a reasonably fast learner. He might not be worldly, but the Shinra trooper was a far cry from the country lad who had arrived a few years earlier to Midgar, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

There had been some easy lessons to learn, like the fact that the cheapest food option at Wall Market would nine times out of ten give you a guts-ache for days. That one he picked up in his first week, along with keeping a hand on your gil wallet at all times.

Sure there were a few things that took Cloud a little longer to adopt. Even a month in to his new city life he had struggled not to stare at the more outlandishly dressed folk who inhabited Midgar. It had gotten him into more than one fight and earned him more than one embarrassing proposition.

Thankfully he had developed the habit of not making direct eye contact with anyone, a tactic that only fell apart when he was sabotaged. Zack, all mock innocence and bright smiles, still insisted on pointing out particularly garish denizens to him when he led their platoon in a city-patrol. The SOLDIER apparently took great delight in Cloud’s attempts to look without being caught looking. For all its clunky hideousness the trooper helmet was a blessing at those times.

Unfortunately for Cloud, the biggest hurdle had been, and still was, language. Despite everyone apparently speaking the same language, they certainly didn’t use words the same way. Typically he managed to avoid making a complete fool of himself by staying quiet and waiting for a mostly-private moment to use the communal terminal at HQ to look up the meaning a word might hold. A fool-proof plan, except for when the word as Cloud understood it was used in a way that made perfect sense.

 

_ A week earlier… _

 

Unknown hours into a double shift of guard duty, Cloud let his mind wander with only half his attention on the narrow grey world visible through his helmet. The bustle of people flowing in and out of the Shinra main entrance had dwindled significantly, the only indication that it was getting late and his relief was not too far away. Shifting weight from one tired leg to another he contemplated his chances of there being anything edible left at the mess by the time he got there. Slim, he decided grimly, knowing it was best not to get his hopes up and that a meager picking of bland mash and unidentified protein would be waiting for him.

Movement alerted him to a group of late-returning SOLDIER, likely having caught the last train back from the slums. As ever his stomach did a little flip at the sight of the distinctive uniform, joined enthusiastically by his dancing heart when he spotted a familiar head of spiky black hair.

The groups laughter hinted at a night of revelry, although not so rowdy as to break protocol. Mako injections supposedly made it hard to get drunk, so in all likelihood the SOLDIER would be completely sober before they made it to their bunks. Safe from notice thanks to his uniform and helmet effectively marking him as part of the furniture, Cloud was able to bask in the energy that flowed between the comrades in arms, snippets of their conversation reaching him as they neared.

“That Wutaian beauty and I... three times I tell you. Said I was the best ever.”

“You’re full of it Walters, if you were really the best then why did she ignore you the entire night? Tell him he’s full of it Fair.”

“As if he’d know, Fair wasn’t there remember.”

A round of laughter and tousling of Zack’s dark hair ensued as the SOLDIERs apparently recalled their friend’s reason for being absent for whatever war-story they were retelling.

“Ohhhh that’s right, Lieutenant Fair here was otherwise occupied.”

“Ha, I remember now, we didn’t see him for a week. Spill Fair, was it the most memorable shag ever or what?”

They were close enough for Cloud to see that the man’s cheeks were flushed, with drink, laughter and perhaps embarrassment at the questions. He swore for a moment that a pair of blinding blue eyes suddenly locked onto him, before Zack swung a playful jab at the SOLDIER who had asked the question. “I don’t need stuff like that making the Shinra gossip pages, asshole.”

With that the group had passed through the entrance, leaving the trooper in sudden silence as the doors zipped closed behind them. His previously jittering heart had sank to plummet heavily into the now twisted stomach.  _ Shag _ . He had only attended one such event himself, the traditional party held to commemorate a wedding and raise gil for the new couple to help them start their life together.

The SOLDIER had been talking about Zack’s shag. The thought shouldn’t have been painful, after all, him and Zack were just friends. Army buddies. Fellow country-bumpkins. There was no reason on Gaia for Cloud’s eyes to prickle and his hands to shake. No reason except that his never-admitted hopes and dreams were now shattered.

_ Zack Fair was married. _


	2. Enthusiasm, determination and smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud's been avoiding Zack and the SOLDIER isn't going stand for it.

Call him an optimist but Zack was sure anything could be fixed. All it took was a little enthusiasm, a little determination and a whole lotta smiling. Of course a healthy dose of pleading coupled with his trademark puppy-dog expression certainly helped. Not knowing the exact reason a thing was broken did pose a minor complication, but Zack Fair would fix the crack that had opened up between him and his friend, no matter what it took.

It was armed with this attitude that the SOLDIER strolled ever so casually into the infantry mess hall, his dazzling smile in place and mako-bright eyes burning with playful fire. It took him a quick scan of the crowded space to locate his target, the military-trained mind unconsciously taking note of key strategic points as he did so.

_ Three full companies, seating room is tight and Cloud’s wedged between two groups, neither of which are including him. Vending machine lights are flickering again, no soda for the infantry today, always a source of angst. Pungent stench alarmingly similar to the chocobo stables, so it’s the infamous ‘steamed green surprise’ on the menu, yuk. _

Tallying it all that up, he knew he was going to be dealing with a particularly prickly trooper. The situation only threatened to dampen Zack’s spirits for a moment before he steeled himself and made a beeline for his friend. His voice lifting clearly above the din in the same way that effortlessly called a platoon to attention, the SOLDIER announced his presence. “There you are Spikey!”

The startled look on Cloud’s face as he lifted his head from his gloomy study of congealed green sludge would have been funny if Zack hadn’t felt so hurt by the sheer horror etched there. “Zack. Shit… um… Sir. Hello Sir.” His friend’s awkward scramble to his feet and rigid salute hit the SOLDIER like a slap to the face.

“Sheesh Cloud.” In an instant, Zack has lost almost all his pizzazz, the words coming out a hushed and strained whisper. They should be past this formality bullshit,  _ were  _ past it. You didn’t damned well salute someone you had played video games until dawn with, someone whose shoulder you’d drooled on when you fell asleep mid-movie. Someone who though you were possibly the cutest person on Gaia. Sure, that last part was only known to Zack, but it still mattered.

It was at that moment he realised the chain effect his friend’s action had caused, the entire row of infantry in various states of salute and staring at him with a mix of confusion and wariness. He hated this part, the fact that despite he was younger than most of them, his status as SOLDIER created a social rift big enough to store a behemoth in. Only with Cloud had he had any success in closing the gap, of breaking down that ridiculous hero worship and crafting a friendship out of the pieces.

A friendship that was apparently falling apart before his eyes. Collecting himself, Zack shook of the hurt and got himself back on track. Plan A really wasn’t working out for him at all, but plans B thought to F were all basically the same.  _ Enthusiasm, determination and smiles _ .

“At ease folks, just a friendly visit!” Zack beamed at the room and raised his hands in a placating manner, wincing slightly at the emphasis he’d unintentionally placed on the word ‘friendly’. He could tell from the frantic darting of blue eyes hidden behind dripping blond spikes that Cloud was seeking a chance to bolt, to avoid confrontation the way he’d been dodging Zack all week.

* * *

 

**_One week earlier_ **

**Sunday 10:04pm [Zack]** Bored! You coming round for games?

**Sunday 10:36pm [Cloud]** Can’t. Late guard duty. Sorry.

**Sunday 10:38pm [Zack]** All good man, thought I saw you at the front gate earlier and figured you’d be done for the night.

**Sunday 10:47pm [Cloud]** Still can’t tell troopers apart when we’re in uniform?

**Sunday 10:50pm [Zack]** I blame the helmets. Still no idea how you fit those spikes in yours. Text me if you get bored.

**Sunday 10:59pm [Cloud]** Can’t use the PHS on duty.

 

**Tuesday 4:33pm [Zack]** Pizza night, Kunsel’s paying. See ya in a hour.

**Tuesday 5:45pm [Zack]** Ordered you meatlovers extra cheese. If you don’t show up I’ll be forced to let Kunsel eat some.

**Tuesday 8:01pm [Cloud]** Was on patrol. I’ll pay you back for the pizza.

**Tuesday 8:10pm [Zack]** Don’t sweat it! All the more for me right?

 

**Friday 11:20am [Zack]** Hey I’ve got some free hours later if you want to work on your drills.

**Friday 11:41am [Cloud]** Covering Brock’s shift, he’s got the flu. Sorry.

 

* * *

**** **** **_Present day_ **

“Strife.” He hated the way Cloud flinched at the use of his surname, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Two could play at the formalities game after all.

“I need your assistance with an urgent matter of…” Zack’s mind raced for some plausible reason for him to drag the trooper away from his clearly inedible lunch. “Misinterpreted personnel records.”

At that Cloud gave up his barely-veiled search for an exit and was now staring owlishly at Zack as if the SOLDIER had grown a second head, or tentacles. It was a rather cute look, definitely an improvement on ‘panicked chocobo about to bolt’ in Zack’s mind. Shaking his head in obvious exasperation, Cloud stood and carried his tray to deposit its contents into the trash.

It took all of Zack’s self control not to sling an arm across his friend’s shoulder as they left the mess and walked in awkward silence down the hallway. Realising he was going to have to switch tactics, the SOLDIER led them to an empty briefing room and closed the door. Taking a deep breath he turned and faced the now wary-looking blond. All mirth and bravado was gone, instead replaced by wells of aching blue and a pleading pout. Few could withstand the puppy-dog look, and Zack turned it up full force. “C’mon Spikey, talk to me. I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

The moment Cloud let out a defeated sigh, Zack knew he’d done it. Whatever came next he could deal with, now that the task of dismantling the surly trooper’s walls had been surmounted. He stepped closer, attempted a half smile and persevered. “We’re friends, right? You can tell me.”

Cloud surprised him with a laugh then, soft and huffed and worryingly bitter. “Friends. Yeah, sure. I guess.”

“Cloud?”

“I’m no expert, but wouldn’t a friend tell his friend if he was married?”

Zack blinked. His mouth opened and closed shut again, words for once completely escaping him. He’d been expecting... well, nearly anything else but the random statement his friend had delivered. Valiantly he tried to rally himself, to make some sort of sense out of what Cloud had just said and get on with fixing everything.

“Huh?” The eloquent reply was accompanied by a puzzled tilt of his head. “Run that by me again.”

There had to be at least seven shades of red colouring the trooper’s scowling face as he attempted without success to hid behind his bangs. Arms crossed against his chest he mumbled out more of an explanation.

“Heard you guys talking about your shag. You could have told me. Lots of people get married at your age.”

Silence punctuated by more blinking filled the room, the SOLDIER trying to work out whether there was a chance Kunsel had spiked his morning coffee again because clearly he was hallucinating or asleep and dreaming. Despite his complete bafflement, something about Cloud’s explanation nagged at him.  _ My shag? _

“So, it was you on Sunday, the trooper at the front entrance.”

Cloud nodded, hunching over himself at being caught out in his lie. “Yeah. Look, sorry for avoiding you. I just… was surprised… and I didn’t know how…”

“Cloud.” Zack interrupted, as the pieces started to fall into place. It wouldn’t be the first time his naive friend had gotten the wrong end of the stick, after all. His lips lifted into a smirk, feeling like he was perhaps back on familiar ground. “I’m not married.”

The trooper looked up at him, an indignant glare in place. “I’m not a dumb kid Zack, I know what a shag is, we have weddings in Nibelheim too.”

To his credit, Zack tried his best not to laugh, he honestly tried. But after the stress of thinking he’d done something to upset Cloud, he couldn’t help but be both relieved and highly amused that it was just a misunderstanding. His friend maintained the glare for the duration of the laughing fit, eyes narrowing in suspicion as he waited for Zack to catch his breath and offer an explanation.

Still chuckling the SOLDIER reached out to effortlessly drag Cloud into a headlock, ruffling the blond spikes and ignoring the other’s attempts to resist. He needed the younger man to listen without bolting from the room with embarrassment.

“Okay Spikey, let’s start with you telling me exactly what you think a shag is.”

The reply came muffled as Cloud’s face was still pinned against Zack’s chest. “A party, for a wedding.”

Tears filled Zack’s eyes as he bit back a second bout of laughter. “I really ought to issue a slang-for-bumpkins guidebook. Reckon I’d make a killing.”

Zack let up his tousling of the now completely dishevelled spikes and relaxed his grip, shifting his hands to rest on Cloud’s shoulders. “A shag means a hook up, it means sex.”

“Oh… so… you’re not married?”

The SOLDIER wondered if the hint of hope he detected in Cloud’s voice was his imagination. He shook his head, giving his friend his biggest smile. “Nope, completely 100% available.”

His words had a marvellous unintended effect, turning the already blushing Cloud into a veritable beacon of embarrassed red. Not able to pass up an opportunity for a little teasing, he leaned a little closer and spoke in a mock sultry tone. “Hope you weren’t too heartbroken, thinking I was off the market.”

Blue eyes looked up into his own, wide with shock. A dismayed gasp slipped out of Cloud’s lips before he turned and fled from the room. Staring at the door out of which his friend had escaped Zack brought a hand up to rub his forehead and groaned, realising his mistake too late.

“And the award for the biggest idiot in Shinra goes to Zack Fair.”


End file.
